NFL Satire

Shanahan to Wife: ‘Can Cousins Sleep Over?’

San Francisco 49ers head coach and ex-Redskins offensive coordinator, Kyle Shanahan, asked his wife if Cousin’s could ‘stay the night’ this past the weekend.  Shanahan’s wife explained.

“I said of course, I love Kyle’s family.  I knew he was close with his cousins growing up.  They were always hanging around each other. I think he needs to be close with his relatives since he has been depressed the past few months being out here on the west coast.”

The wife of the 49ers coach continued.

“You know, it’s funny you should say that.  He’s been asking a lot about his cousins lately.  Around the house, he’s been saying things like, ‘I miss my cousins so much’ and ‘I wish my cousins was… I mean were here right now.’ He seems to be visiting his cousins more often too, but I know how important his family is to him, so I always allow it.”

Niner nation even reported that Shanahan sees a lot of “Cousins” in draft pick C.J Beathard.

“He’s just a true family man,” Shanahan’s wife continued. “That’s why I married him, cousins and all.”

We will update fans as soon as Shanahan and Cousins get done with their slumber party.


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